


Waiting for you

by iceandrage



Category: Torchwood
Genre: (kind of?), Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Children of Earth Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:52:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceandrage/pseuds/iceandrage
Summary: The idea of soulmates sharing a heaven after death does not work out quite as well when your soulmate can't die.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, here we go. This is the first fic I've written in ages, so please don't be too hard on me?  
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!!  
> (work title is just temporary until I find something better)

Ianto has gotten used to the silence that has accompanied him ever since his death.  
When he had first woken up again, he had been terrified. At first he had been thinking that he had in some way survived, so, growing more and more desperate, he had called for help, for Jack, eventually even for Gwen – but nobody had been there to answer his calls.  
It had been only when his voice had broken and gone completely that he had paused to look around. Out of all the places he had been to, seeing the Hub again was what he had expected the least. That place had been destroyed completely, he could remember that. In his confusion, he had been halfway to Jack's office when he realised that there was no way Jack could've heard his calls without answering. So – Ianto was completely, utterly alone.  
The very thought had shaken him to his core. After losing Lisa, he hadn't been able to bear being on his own, so he had spent almost all of his time at the Hub – that place had been a simple distraction at first, but over the years, it had become more and more of a home for Ianto (he had not quite dared to admit that getting closer to Jack played a major part in this development). But now, being in this place, but without the familiar noises, without somebody announcing rift activity, without Myfawny flying around, had not given Ianto any of the earlier comfort.  
The first few days had been the worst – Ianto still doesn't like recalling them. He had been absolutely clueless and lonely, without anyone there to help him. Not even the usually so reliable technology had worked, leaving Ianto to absolutely no resources to look anything up. He had also realised pretty soon that he couldn't leave the place, all the doors were locked.  
But in the end, he resigned to his fate. He didn't know where the rest of his team was – where Jack was – or where he was, but he guessed that this was some kind of afterlife – contrary to what Jack had always said about eternal darkness. Ianto supposed that the immortal guy had never died for long enough to see more, but he wasn't even sure of that.  
Still, constant silence and loneliness wasn't quite what Ianto had expected from heaven, so he came to the conclusion that either this was his personal hell ( _after all he'd done, he probably deserved it_ ) or there was no way to predict where somebody would end up after his death and if they'd be happy with that.  
Adjusting to this new “life” – if he could call it that – took a while, but eventually Ianto got used to it. All his days were the same, but what else could he do? There was no way of escaping – you can't kill a dead person again. And the doors had never in all his time alone been open – he had made sure to try again every morning right after waking up, but it had never been any good.  
So, this is why seeing the main entrance to the Hub open this morning is both the best and the worst thing that's happened to Ianto in all his time in this afterlife. Best because _something new, finally_ but also worst because _what could possibly have gotten through that door if all his attempts had failed?_  
Ianto feels kind of stupid for it, but the first place he goes to is Jack's office (a place he has been avoiding for all his time here, _it just felt wrong to go in there_ ) because _maybe, just maybe_ – he has accepted long ago that he'll never see Jack again. There is a line between the dead and the living that mustn't be overcome and he knows that in their case it was impossible that either of them could ever permanently cross that line again.  
Still, there's a tiny glimmer of hope within him that has been asleep for _he doesn't even know how many years_ that suddenly feels like it's been rekindled and when he opens the door to Jack's office just to find it empty, it's a bigger disappointment than he'd estimated it would be. _You knew it was impossible, why can you never ever be realistic?_  
But no, he feels that he can't simply move on from this. Having hope again, even if it's just for a few seconds, and having it taken away again is cruel and has suddenly made it clear to him that he's nowhere close to accepting his fate, that he's just been burying everything for so long. He knows that after all this time, it should be easier for him, that he should finally accept that there will be no cheesy reunion scene, that he'll never feel Jack's warmth around him again and that his familiar scent is gone forever – but all of this simply brings more and more memories to the surface of his thoughts again, and _god no, he can't hold up his facade anymore, what for? There's no one here to see him cry (let alone someone who'll comfort him)._  
He realises that he is about to break down completely right there, in Jack's office, just like he did sometimes when whatever their job had brought had been to terrible to handle on his own – but never has he been here _alone_ , never has his number one comfort place felt so cold.  
It's this thought that wrecks him. He can actually feel himself gasping for air because _shit, that's a lot of tears at once_ when suddenly, he hears footsteps behind him, resulting in a short but intense fight happening in his head.  
_It's him_ , that stupid part of his brain that is still able to feel optimism says.  
_Be realistic. It can't be. He can't be here_ , the rest of his brain tries to tell him.  
He's not sure who to believe, so he does what he always does these days – he ignores everything, trying to focus on his breathing. _Deep breaths, you can do this, whatever is behind you can wait._  
He's almost there when suddenly - “Looking for me?”  
Ianto doesn't think he's ever inhaled sharper. He knows that voice behind his back – it's exactly the one he's been wanting to hear so bad for the entire day. _This is just something fooling you_ , his inner pessimist tries to tell him, but, at this point, he doesn't care anymore. Whatever it is, he just needs to see Jack again.  
So Ianto turns around and _yes, there he is_ and _oh god, he's smiling that exact same grin he's always used when he wasn't sure of something himself, but tried to convince Ianto that all was fine (no matter how many times Ianto told him that it wasn't working on him, he'd never given up on it)_ and fuck, Ianto's going to cry again.  
But instead of giving in, he takes a step forward, at the same time as Jack does, and faster than Ianto's brain can process it, they're in each other's arms and it's like everything good has returned to him at once – the whole Hub suddenly seems brighter and more colourful and he's never felt this protected and safe and _whole_ as he does in this very moment.  
He doesn't know how much time they spend like this, just embracing each other, breathing in each other's scent, without saying anything. He does know that when they finally pull apart, he immediately has the desire to go in for a hug again because _who knows how long this will last?_  
That thought is what makes him speak. “How long do we have?”  
Jack looks confused at first, then he seems to realise something and his face lights up again. “Forever, I suppose. Now that I'm dead...” Ianto doesn't even let him finish. “You're _what??_ That can't be possible. You can't-” _They just keep interrupting each other._ “Obviously, I can.” He doesn't know if he's ever seen Jack looking and sounding this satisfied, this much at ease.  
“But... how?”  
“It's a long story.”  
“We have time....” Ianto can't help but smirk because the mention of time immediately makes him think of his stopwatch and the first time he felt self-confident enough to flirt with Jack.  
Jack sighs. “Fine, then, I'll tell you. But... not here. We should finally sit down...”

Later that day – _or is it night already? Ianto has lost track of the time that's passed while Jack summed up what had happened to him_ – they're both lying on the couch, Ianto's head on Jack's chest who has his arms wrapped around Ianto so tightly that he's almost unable to breathe.  
He chuckles. “I still can't believe you spent so much time as a giant face without a body. I mean, how did you cope?” Jack grins – that genuine, wide smile that makes Ianto feel better every time he gets to witness it. _Oh, how he's missed this._ “It was pretty difficult at first, yeah. But I did have a lot of time to adjust...”  
They go back to a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence, until Ianto decides to speak again, this time a bit more serious. “There's one thing I still don't understand... why are you here?”  
Jack gives him a confused look again. “I just told you, I'm dead.”  
“Yes, but why did you come here? I always thought that I was going to be alone forever, that this was some sort of punishment –“  
“ _What would you be punished for, Ianto?_ No, after all that I've seen and heard and learnt over the years, I believe that this is what some would call heaven.”  
“Then why are we the only two persons _here_? Surely there are more people who end up going to heaven...”  
“Of course there are, but everybody has their own version of heaven – the place they used to love the most when they were still alive. And, I guess, in special cases, you even get the person who's –“ Jack doesn't finish his sentence.  
“... the person who _what_?”, Ianto asks after Jack has been quiet for a while.  
He clears his throat. “... the person who you're connected to the deepest...”  
Ianto realises that this is one of the few times where he's seen Jack look flustered, almost a little embarrassed – but he can understand that this isn't easy to explain, it wouldn't be for him either. So he waits – he hasn't been doing anything else for all the time he's been here, basically.  
Finally, Jack speaks up again. “This is gonna sound way too cliché, but... I guess a good word would be soulmates.”  
Ianto feels like he can't trust his ears. “And out of all people you've ever known, you –“  
“I ended up feeling connected to you the most, yeah.”  
He still can't comprehend it – Jack has had so many acquaintances, so many friends, so many lovers – why would he happen to meet his soulmate in Cardiff, on Earth, when he's experienced almost the whole of time and space? It doesn't make sense, really – what exactly does he have to offer, what would make him so special? Why –  
“Stop that.” Jack's tone is soft, but still firm.  
“... what?” This has caught Ianto off guard completely. He's still getting used to someone other than him talking, making sounds, really.  
“You're overthinking and putting yourself down again. I know how your brain works, Ianto, even after billions of years.”  
_He's missed someone being able to read him this easily, to know what he wants, what he thinks – how quickly he's always slipped into self-loathing, feeling like he wasn't anything important, not worthy of anything._  
“I told you, back in the old days – you won't ever just be a blip in time for me. Hasn't changed since then..”  
“I.. hadn't thought that you'd even remember that.” Ianto can't help but smile. Back then, he hadn't even been sure if Jack had been serious or if it had just been some quick, thoughtless thing, only meant to make him feel better. Finding that Jack has preserved that memory for so long suddenly makes Ianto feel a whole new level of self-esteem because _if Jack has kept him in his mind for the rest of his life, that has to mean something, right?_  
He finally goes in for a long kiss – _he still can't find words for what it makes him feel, how wonderful it is_ – before he leans into Jack again and closes his eyes, knowing that this will be the first time in ages that he'll fall asleep without waking up two hours later because of some nightmare or just because he had gotten cold.  
He can feel Jack's breathing, as even and relaxed as his, and it calms him down even more. When Jack speaks up one more time, he's almost a tiny bit startled because he's already so sleepy, halfway gone. Jack's voice is softer than it has ever been when they were both still alive.  
“I'm glad to be with you, Ianto Jones.” – “So am I, Jack. So am I...” He's interrupted by yawning and minutes later, they're both asleep, safe and sound in each other's arms. 


End file.
